Harmful or Harmless Entertainment; the 50 Shades Argument
If you have been anywhere outside your home or watched television in the last couple of years, I am sure you are familiar with the books in the "50 Shade of Grey" series. I know that I have heard about these books, and sadly now the movie, from friends, family, co-workers, and even perfect strangers in the store. The books have been referred to as "romance" but in reality, they are not at all romantic, they are pornography. Now, I know many people see pornography as containing actual images of naked people engaged in sex acts, but if you have ever read a "steamy romance" you know that reading about sex acts can invoke the same feelings as viewing pornography.
I will go as far as to say that reading books such as 50 Shades of Grey, etc., is not only the same as viewing pornography, it is adultery. Of course, I know some of you just said to yourselves that I am stretching it a bit but I don't think so. However, before I get into the reasons for my claim that reading books like these is adultery, I want to share some comments I have heard and read from Christian woman who have read the 50 Shades of Grey books.
One comment I have read on other blogs and articles addressing this issue is: "It has improved my intimacy with my own spouse." I find this claim sort of ironic because many of these same women would find it unacceptable (and rightly so) if they found their husband reading a "porno magazine", but couldn't your husband make the same claim. He is reading Play Boy to improve your sex life! Of course you may say it's not the same thing but in reality, it is. And there is a difference between true intimacy and sex. Intimacy implies a deeper feeling that goes beyond the physical pleasure we feel during intercourse. That pleasure is based on chemical responses in your body that you can obtain without caring for the person you are having intercourse with. True intimacy requires a deeper connection, a sense of oneness that cannot be obtained through physical contact alone.
Another comment that is popular sounds to me like one you would receive from a teenager and that is the "All my friends have read it." At the risk of sounding like my mother, if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you join them. Come on ladies, if you wouldn't accept this excuse from your child, why do you think it is anymore acceptable from you.
The last excuse I will share is the "It is just harmless entertainment, it is called FICTION!" But is it just harmless? The reason I saved this one for last is obvious, it is part of the point of this post. When we read, watch, or listen to descriptions of others having sex it invokes in us a sexual reaction, the feeling of being "turned on" so to speak. This is something many women try to deny, perhaps because we are taught to be more discreet with those types of feelings then men, but the science of sexual stimulus does not lie. And that brings me to the subject of adultery.
If you are a Christian woman or man you have likely been warned of the destructive nature of pornography and pornographic addictions (which by the way occur in females too). Perhaps your preacher has spoken on this subject in a sermon or you have read articles from family centered Christian magazines. One of the major problems with viewing pornography is that it leads to sexual fantasies involving people other than your spouse. The same is true when women read books such as 50 Shades of Grey and other "romances. The male characters in these books are described like male super models, flawless, charming, and in many cases ridiculously rich. They are brave, and strong, capable of sweeping a woman off her feet without batting an eye. Basically they are the male version of the airbrushed and photoshopped women who fill the pages of adult magazines. And these characters are intended to invoke a fantasy response. And lets be honest, the entire purpose of fiction is to remove your from your ordinary every day life into a world that is more exciting, otherwise we wouldn't read it.
Even after this you might be thinking, okay Jeana but I still don't see how this can constitute adultery, after all, I would never actually leave my husband or have an affair. Perhaps I can simplify the confusion with one easy answer, it is adultery because Jesus said so. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus tells those He is speaking to "but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." It is clear from this verse that you do not have to physically touch another person to commit adultery. Adultery can also be committed through mental action, fantasizing about someone you want to be with who is not your spouse. Not only are such fantasies sinful, they are destructive to your marriage. There have been many instances where a wife becomes so caught up in a fantasy or day dream about another man, that she begins to resent her spouse because he can never be that person. Generally, that person is someone who is larger than life, someone her husband can never measure up to, like Mr. Grey, because he is a work of fiction, an unrealistic representation. So my advice to those who want to stay pure of mind and faithful to their spouse in everything is simple, don't read this book no matter how harmless or entertaining it may be!
I will go as far as to say that reading books such as 50 Shades of Grey, etc., is not only the same as viewing pornography, it is adultery. Of course, I know some of you just said to yourselves that I am stretching it a bit but I don't think so. However, before I get into the reasons for my claim that reading books like these is adultery, I want to share some comments I have heard and read from Christian woman who have read the 50 Shades of Grey books.
One comment I have read on other blogs and articles addressing this issue is: "It has improved my intimacy with my own spouse." I find this claim sort of ironic because many of these same women would find it unacceptable (and rightly so) if they found their husband reading a "porno magazine", but couldn't your husband make the same claim. He is reading Play Boy to improve your sex life! Of course you may say it's not the same thing but in reality, it is. And there is a difference between true intimacy and sex. Intimacy implies a deeper feeling that goes beyond the physical pleasure we feel during intercourse. That pleasure is based on chemical responses in your body that you can obtain without caring for the person you are having intercourse with. True intimacy requires a deeper connection, a sense of oneness that cannot be obtained through physical contact alone.
Another comment that is popular sounds to me like one you would receive from a teenager and that is the "All my friends have read it." At the risk of sounding like my mother, if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you join them. Come on ladies, if you wouldn't accept this excuse from your child, why do you think it is anymore acceptable from you.
The last excuse I will share is the "It is just harmless entertainment, it is called FICTION!" But is it just harmless? The reason I saved this one for last is obvious, it is part of the point of this post. When we read, watch, or listen to descriptions of others having sex it invokes in us a sexual reaction, the feeling of being "turned on" so to speak. This is something many women try to deny, perhaps because we are taught to be more discreet with those types of feelings then men, but the science of sexual stimulus does not lie. And that brings me to the subject of adultery.
If you are a Christian woman or man you have likely been warned of the destructive nature of pornography and pornographic addictions (which by the way occur in females too). Perhaps your preacher has spoken on this subject in a sermon or you have read articles from family centered Christian magazines. One of the major problems with viewing pornography is that it leads to sexual fantasies involving people other than your spouse. The same is true when women read books such as 50 Shades of Grey and other "romances. The male characters in these books are described like male super models, flawless, charming, and in many cases ridiculously rich. They are brave, and strong, capable of sweeping a woman off her feet without batting an eye. Basically they are the male version of the airbrushed and photoshopped women who fill the pages of adult magazines. And these characters are intended to invoke a fantasy response. And lets be honest, the entire purpose of fiction is to remove your from your ordinary every day life into a world that is more exciting, otherwise we wouldn't read it.
Even after this you might be thinking, okay Jeana but I still don't see how this can constitute adultery, after all, I would never actually leave my husband or have an affair. Perhaps I can simplify the confusion with one easy answer, it is adultery because Jesus said so. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus tells those He is speaking to "but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." It is clear from this verse that you do not have to physically touch another person to commit adultery. Adultery can also be committed through mental action, fantasizing about someone you want to be with who is not your spouse. Not only are such fantasies sinful, they are destructive to your marriage. There have been many instances where a wife becomes so caught up in a fantasy or day dream about another man, that she begins to resent her spouse because he can never be that person. Generally, that person is someone who is larger than life, someone her husband can never measure up to, like Mr. Grey, because he is a work of fiction, an unrealistic representation. So my advice to those who want to stay pure of mind and faithful to their spouse in everything is simple, don't read this book no matter how harmless or entertaining it may be!
Comments
Post a Comment