A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Azure,

It is hard to believe that tomorrow will be your 19th birthday!  And though 19 years may seem a long time to some to me it feels like only yesterday that you came into our lives so small, frail, and quiet. It is a day that is forever etched into my mind and my heart.  I can still see your tiny little eyes squinting against the glare of new light, feel your soft new born skin as the doctor placed you on my chest.  And I still long for you.  I long to hold you in my arms and kiss your tiny little brow and there are days my very soul aches for you.

When I go out and see mothers with their daughters shopping or driving in the car next to me, I often wonder what our relationship would have been like.  Would we have been close?  Would you have enjoyed some of the same things I do?  But I never ask if you would have grown up to be beautiful, because that I already know you would have been the most beautiful girl in the world, at least in my eyes.

There are many times I think about you in Heaven.  I think about what it must be like for you to always live in the eternal light of our Father but I also wonder if you would still be that precious baby that we held for such a brief period of time.  Or will you have grown to be a beautiful woman.  And I wonder too if you will know me when we meet again.  Did you recognize your Grandpa Hamilton when he came to join you, will you know your Daddy face and mine?  I also wonder if you know that you have three amazing little brothers, who, even though they have never met you, know all about you.  I pray you do.  I pray that you eagerly await the day we meet again in God's glory as I do.  And above everything else, I pray that you know how much you were loved the day you came into our world and how much you are loved now.  We will always remember you, always love you, and always long for you!

With All my Love,
Mommy

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