Ramblings of a Christian Wife

To most people, June 1998 was like any other June since man started using the Roman calendar but for Jene, myself, and our families (both biological and in Christ), June 1998 would be a month filled with mixed emotions.  Many of the kids from our church's youth group were graduating and starting out on the adventure we call adulthood.  The youth group was also getting ready for a missions trip and busy being kids in general.  Meanwhile, Jene and I were preparing our hearts for the most heartbreaking moment we would ever experience, though we were not expecting the moment to happen for nearly another month. To explain what was about to happen, I must first go back almost 4 four months to February 1998.  Jene and I had only been married two months and were expecting our first child to be born in July.  Jene and I were both excited but a dread was growing inside my heart that I could not shake.  At first everyone I mentioned this dread to thought I was suffering anxiety normal for a

 I know I have been making a lot of posts lately but for me it is a type of therapy.  Anyway, I have talked a lot about depression in my last several posts but many of you may not know that this journey began nearly 17 years as I was about to reach 22 years of age.  I was going along in life pretty much like any 21 year old (minus the alcohol) and thought my life was going well.  I had a full-time job, good friends, and a cute boyfriend.  Then I got sick.  I started having mysterious stomach symptoms, nausea, cramps, and mild acid reflux.  I went through medical test after medical test and at one point dropped down to 95 lbs.  The doctors did not seem to have an answer except that I needed to change my diet.  Even after that the symptoms did not improve.  At the same time that this illness struck, my boyfriend decided that I was a piece of property and began trying to control my life.  He was telling me how to dress, what I could do with my hair, and when I could hang out with my fri